splders:

*eats 4 slices of pizza*

im so full

*eats another 4 slices of pizza*

the-winchester-initiative:

do you ever have to backspace a reply because

no

our friendship level is not ready for that

stayburned:

it seems that everyone i’m friends with is better friends with someone else and that really fucking sucks 

One of the most sinister things about normalized racism is you don’t have to have bad intentions to be racist, you just have to remain ignorant.
Me: Heyyyy baby *hugs cat*
Cat: *paws me*
Cat: *bites me*
Cat: *kicks me*
Cat: *scratches me*
Cat: *runs away immediately*
Me:
Me: *looks down the bleeding hands*
Me: Cats are
Me: the best

tepidlachlan:

When kids point out things you’re really self conscious about

image

nonomella:

my 6-year-olds were upset because i taught them ‘television’ and they were like NO TEACHER IT’S A TV

so i wrote ‘television’ on the board and highlighted “T” and “V” and they reacted like i’d just taught them the secrets of the universe

penis-hilton:

me dying

ekoenig:

*sunlight hits your laptop screen*

wow 

every piece of dust in the world

it’s here

roaminromans:

how to play a racing game

  • HIT EVERYONE OUT OF THE WAY
  • GO FAST
  • NEVER USE BRAKES

catceleste:

hey can someone send me some recs for novel-length fics that are specific to my stringent tastes and are completed with an ending i approve of

reallylameblog:

oh my GOD i can’t wait to hear about how many kids are caught jackin it in the theaters for 50 shades